Categories
Poetry

I’ve fought

It all and now when I want to stay.

You push me away

And the urge to run away is so strong.

But somehow I am still here but the long days are taking a toll on me.

I don’t know if I can push through this, this time because it’s not as easy as it was before.

Maybe I’ve fought to hard last time that my body just doesn’t know how to regain the strength I need.

And so I sit here staring out this window and wondering what now.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes

Categories
Poetry

My heart

Wants you to come back around.

Even if it’s just to say a simple hello and a five minute catch up.

But as time passes by it begins to miss you and the hope of there being a moment of connection is slowly going down the drain.

I know that hope alone won’t get me through this.

And knowing I won’t make the same mistakes as I’ve made before helps too.

But that doesn’t help me to stop feeling this way about you.

As minutes turn into hours and days come and go and I reach out but nothing coming back.

It goes from sunrise to sunset and then light to darkness and the mind is so tired that it can’t think anymore as I call it a night for now.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes

Categories
Poetry

Things

Photo by Evie S. on Unsplash

feel light like a feather lately with no real direction as we all float through the moment.

Trying to find a way to make things feel whole again

and not like everything is crashing down around us because we can’t control this.

But, I’ve realize floating around light as a feather makes you see the lighter things in life especially right now when everything is serious.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes

Categories
Poetry

It’s windy

Photo by Daniil Lobachev on Unsplash

Outside and like my life I would nice for it to just blow some things around.

Until maybe it would be in better shape then it is right now.

The things that are set in stone will be blown around and for once I would welcome a mess in my life.

Something to do for right now it feels like I’m moving around in circles and nothing seems right to me.

I’m running out of steam but I have to keep moving even when I just want to scream enough is enough.

But I know my moment in the wind won’t last and so back to the same old things in the hope of finding the right path for me.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes

Categories
Poetry

What do

You see when you look at me?

I kinda want to know

But then again not really.

I realize some people don’t think an plan through as much as I would.

Or how greed can cloud your mind until your faced with a option you didn’t see coming.

I wish the situation was different and well it had all worked out better but now it’s really about to get real and how it will end is not even clear to me.


Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes

Categories
Poetry

You came

Back and yes it was a surprise

For I just thought about reaching out to you.

Then there you were standing tall with a smile on your face, begging me to step closer.

And I knew I couldn’t stay mad and so forgiveness was given and the distance between us was closed.

Oh how nice it has been to see you again it’s like everything has fade and in the moment it’s my favorite time of year again.

It’s like nothing changed and those first moments we spent together came right back.

Today would forever be great because of our reconnection no matter how crazy it got.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Copyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes

Categories
Poetry

Like this

eric-muhr-SdG5KmRFZNI-unsplash

Photo by Eric Muhr on Unsplash

fog it is hard for me to see the outcome of things right now.

But I feel things will look up but it will take time.

And I will just have to find some patience and accept that things will be better and different.

For I want change and sometimes I want it to happen as quick as I wish the fog in my life would fade away but it’s staying until I guess I’m ready to do what needs to be done.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

Copyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes

Categories
Poetry

Maybe I’ve

 Been fooling myself as I work hard to keep

this friendship going.

Maybe if I let it go if it was meant to be it will work out.

For this doubt and trying to figure out what to say is just not working and I feel like something needs to be said.

But, I don’t know how you will take it and so I sit here erasing more than hitting the send button.

Maybe it’s too late and now I wonder how to be me and yet still want what everyone else has.

I know being by myself sometimes is nice and so I get lost in my own world and every now and then.

I come out and check on everyone else and then I wonder if I had just been outgoing the whole time would this doubt be bothering me now.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes

Categories
Poetry

I won’t

Stop until I succeed at these tasks that keep coming up.

I know there is so much I need to know and yet here I am feeling as if all I want to do is go back to bed.

My body doesn’t want to get up and move around and do the things the elk wake me up.

It wants to forget this task and sleep as if we’re about to hibernate for the winter.

For the cold days and nights are just getting too cold.

Oh how I wish I could be wrapped in a warm blanket and maybe just skip today and show up tomorrow.

For I’m sure it will be a much better day for me and my energy will come back by then.

But life does not wait for me to get more sleep or more energy or hope when we’ll all I need is all three right now.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes