Categories
Poetry

Was I

to tired to see your true colors all this time.

You may be small but I can feel the many knifes your trying to throw my way.

No respect just  trying to take and take.

You want so much but right now it’s really just a struggle to get it all down in the end.

Things are becoming more clear as the problems that raise up are not mine anymore.

The peace even within the Storm is better than the storm that just doesn’t go away for good.

No direction and no hope inside for the one who could and should help won’t step up unless they have too and in the end it all comes down to the same results.

You want to complain about the ones who came before you because you think so highly of yourself but at the end of the day we carry you not the other way around.

When the mess hits the fan it is mostly because of you and you then fight back as if you have the right too.

This circle will come to an end and right now I don’t care to watch the show for I know how it ends.

 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes

Categories
Poetry

I needed

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Photo by Daniel James on Unsplash

 This break to just stop and look at the view

For I’ve been so busy not looking around and just looking in the direction I needed to go.

I know I have to keep focus but I don’t want to miss out on anything in my life as right now in the present so much is happening,

I won’t give up and I will do more for myself because it’s me who will struggle if I do too much or too little in this opportunity I have for now.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes

Categories
Poetry

Sometimes

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Photo by Daniil Lobachev on Unsplash

in life, you don’t know if your right side up or upside down.

And when you try to find some balance in your life.

Something somehow shifts before your eye and throws you for a curve and before you can get back up they knock you right back down.

And nothing you say or do is working out for you at this point because they chose to knock you down instead of helping you up at the end of your struggle.

You have done so much and right when you choose to move on and do better for yourself they throw you under the bus and expect you to smile and still help out with no worries in sight.

You feel that the pull is becoming too much and you know there is no way you will along this to go on and so you stand your guard and fight the good fight.

Until just come out with what they are planning to do which we all know doesn’t sound like someone who has your back at this point.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes

Categories
Poetry

I want

to feel the cold wind blowing around me as I get cold but not too cold.

As I look around and see the snow that fell just yesterday start to melt away like my problems from yesterday.

I Stand and I move to keep the warmth inside until it is my time to go back inside for I know the tough times are not yet behind me.

And I know that I am strong but how strong when it just feels like someone is lifting me up just to slam me back down.

As if my injuries and feelings don’t matter anymore and I am replaceable.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes

Categories
Poetry

Everyone

is excited and proud and happy for me.

And I am grateful for the love and energy that is surrounding me.

It keeps me going on the roughs days and the colds nights.

It’s what makes me know I’m doing something right if all these people who are like family to me are happy for me and want better for me at the end of the day.

I know that hiding or settling because you don’t want to be seen in the end doesn’t help you to grow or become what you want to be.

It just leaves you to keep second guessing yourself and in the end you are more likely to be unhappy and unsatisfied in that part of your life.

And being unsatisfied is a hard thing to live with because it just turns you bitter and mean and your temper is so quick to rise up and come out.

Being one with oneself leads to some much joy and positivity that it’s hard to doubt things when you feel it is right and enjoyable at the same time.

So let’s do what we need and want to do and worry about the rest later for life isn’t meant to be lived focusing on a future you may not be around for but, for living in the present and doing what you want now for later is not always a option.

 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2020 By Deirdre Stokes

Categories
Poetry

Yes it

is another day in this place

is it going to be great I doubt it.

But here I stand trying to make things right.

I know that I’m doing what I need to do because I have always put others first.

But as the new year quickly approaches I’m really gonna focus on myself and worry about others later when I have accomplish what I want to accomplish in my life for the time I need to get it done is not guaranteed for me.

I know right now I am here and in this moment I am focusing on what makes me, me and worrying about everything else later.

For a time for rest is now for I’ve been busy lately trying to forget and to get lost in almost everything so I don’t have to face the truth that’s been eating me up inside for quite some time now.

Maybe one day I’ll let it all out but for now only a little at a time will I cry and scream for the release I truly need to be at peace with myself.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes

Categories
Poetry

I feel

Like someone is trying to throw me off as the year comes to an end.

The anger that is boiling inside of me is out of control and I don’t know how to tame it in.

Just the thought of how they are trying to play me is unfair and unfortunately a struggle for them.

I’m not sorry at this point and I will continue on with my head held up high.

I won’t allow this sneaky move to shake me up for good.

My lord won’t allow me too and so I will pray for those who do me wrong and keep doing what is best for me.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes

Categories
Uncategorized

Merry Christmas

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Photo by Omar Rodriguez on Unsplash

 To everyone or happy Hanukkah.

I hope we all enjoy this day even if some of you have to work.

Just be grateful you get to see the day and share the joy with whoever you can.

Enjoy the time with family and friends and enjoy the little moments that will pop up through out the day.

And just know that even if you didn’t get what you wanted, I’m sure you got what you needed and if not don’t wait around for someone else to give it to you.

Because in just a few days it will be a new year and I hope you have plans to make things different but for now have a merry Christmas and I hope every moment of your day is blessed and full of love and laughter.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes

Categories
Poetry

The mess

is all around me and I realize that I’m not getting enough time to breathe

and so the stress is becoming too much and I just can’t handle it anymore.

I don’t want to go back but I do everyday and there is just always one or two people who cause a scene and it’s like your doing your best.

But you go home and when the calm of the storm has finally around you, you break down because you have had to be so strong all day long and you can’t take it anymore.

You have cracker and nothing is going to help except for going to sleep for all your troubles of the day melt away when you put your head on that pillow and sleep the pain away.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes