In my

anthony-tran-582856-unsplashPhoto by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

Safe haven I read a new book in hopes of distracting myself from the things in life that just can’t shake from my mind.

Peace of mind is all I’m looking for right now and I just can’t wait to find it today.

I don’t know how long I will be here reading but, I know the peace that has fallen over me is so worth getting lost in this book today.

I know I needed this and I know that there will come a time when I won’t get to do this for a long time.


Written By: Deirdre Stokes




down on me like a storm brewing outside 

Thunder and lightning crashing down as every word

that comes out your mouth hits me hard in my chest. 

I can feel the lightning hit my heart as it breaks into a million pieces 

and the little bit of hope that I was holding on to for us is gone. 

I’m gone and I wonder what will happen to me now as you took a little joy I had left in me. 

I float through my days on a dark cloud of hopelessness and I wonder when will the light come back. 

As days go by my heart slowly starts to fix itself and I feel the pain decreasing but the memories start to haunt me as I close my eyes and you appear in my dreams.

Just when I start to forget you, you reappear and the pain shots through me and I’ve been stuck again and this nightmare starts to grab at everything that was in the light trying to erase my happiness all together. 

I know I have a war in my hands and I have to fight tooth and nails to get out of this one and win back my sanity, my hope, my happiness and my peace of mind. 

This time I will come out on top and my heart will be a little bit stronger for the next attack that will come its way. 


Written By: Deirdre Stokes



They say

fredrick-kearney-jr-762719-unsplashPhoto by Fredrick Kearney Jr on Unsplash

take risk 

so here I am playing with fire 

burning away the file that tells you of my past. 

It’s time for me to move on and move pass all these things 

that rock me from the core. 

Time to feel like the weight of the world is not on my shoulders anymore. 

Time to feel like a brand new me and take on the world with both hands holding on tight to the things that matter. 

Time to let go of the stress and relax for once for more than a moment.




Written By: Deirdre Stokes



I didn’t

invite you into my life to make what is already rocky more of a mess.

I know you don’t want to be alone anymore and so to you two people who feel alone should hang out.

Enjoy this time together and where there was one there is now two but, what if one is not thrilled about this now new adventure that has been thrown on to them.

The things that used to be quiet time is now someone else leaning over your shoulder trying to read every word you put down.

You try to relax but the light around you soon disappear and you are now being shadowed but a darkness that only follows you around.

You feel like you have a personal roof above you and well it breathes and makes corrects and tries to crowd you until you run for the door or anything that opens.

You begin to wonder what did you do to be stuck in this situation, should you have been nicer to that creepy guy last week.

Or was helping those five old people yesterday not enough to tip the luck scale for you.

I guess not for here I am looking over my shoulder just knowing that when I least expect it you will there smiling into my face.

Hoping today is the day I just accept the invitation you created and threw my way so long ago.

I am to smile at you and greet you and tell you that there is no need for you to stop bothering me for that’s what friends do.

Am I to accept this or just pack up and not look back for no time to relax can drive someone people crazy and the tension is just so strong it hurts.

I just need one moment or two or ten to just gather up what is left of me and piece it all back together before you come back and tower over me like a shelter I never asked for.


Written By: Deirdre Stokes




ilie-micut-istrate-443259-unsplashPhoto by Ilie Micut-Istrate on Unsplash

is what we became that day when you said I love you to me and at the time I didn’t say it back but, you already knew how I felt and would say it when I was ready.

The sun seemed so bright that day as I stared into your eyes for a long time and no I wasn’t bored or tired of looking at you.

For I could have done this for the rest of my life and never got tired of looking at you.

I didn’t know that things would change a little after that day and two would become one for so much longer did I would have liked.

I didn’t know what to think as all I could think about was how two was once my favorite number and being with you  was like having my favorite ice cream every day of the week and not worry about calories.

I just loved the feeling of joy that filled me to the top that often I felt so happy and I loved that feeling so much that when it was gone.

I cried for it every day and every moment that it would come back and the hole that was apart of me would close up again.



Written By: Deirdre Stokes



I used to

be like the sun so full of bright light all the time and things were peaceful and silly and nothing really got to me.

Then I became like daylight saving and those moments that were so bright became so much darker and the light was seen so much more less.

Yet, there I was sitting in the same spot feeling so differently as if I was a cup full of goodness and now I was an empty cup and nothing good was left of me.

I was a favorite and now I’m not something that is old and has always been around and well no more useful to you then a book for who reads anymore.

I was like Christmas when you were young and the excitement was so big that you just couldn’t contain it anymore and so you woke up so early so hoping there was something more under the tree.

Now holiday days aren’t that fun to you for well you still have to work and you just don’t have the time or energy to do much.

So when you look back at what I used to be and do for you, your were grateful for those times and now you just don’t have the same hope you once had in me.



Written By: Deirdre Stokes




come and go from your lips.

And lately I just don’t want to listen anymore

I just want to run away and not take on this responsibility.

I know I will be eaten alive soon by your ways for I’m the prey and you’re the shark coming to take what is not yours to have.

No regret will be on your mind as you turn and tear down all that I have built so far.

I don’t know how many more of your attacks I can take for the pretending to be okay is feels like a losing battle now.


Written By: Deirdre Stokes