Categories
Poetry

The gaping

Holes in my life just seem to becoming bigger and bigger until there is no safe place for me to stand.

For one wrong step will send you down a hole and what is inside is an answer I don’t even know.

So much light is around but the path to getting out is not even more than a line.

To cross will not be easy but I know I can’t stay on this side anymore.

Because if I do the only thing full of darkness won’t be just the holes around me.

For I won’t be myself and everything everyone sees in me will not matter or be true anymore.

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes

Categories
Poetry

Anywhere

I rather be right now than here in the darkness that swallows me whole with no exit insight.

I sit here trying to think of a way out because it feels like I’m suffocating on all that is pushing up against me.

This solution is not an answer to my situation and so I’m back at square one and it feels like I’m running out of time and air around me.

As I slowly fall down and down like black hole that you can’t see the bottom and so when will I hit the spot that tells me this is solved and over with.

Nothing to help me pull my way back up, right now it feels like a losing battle for me and as I fall I start to think about the things that have come before this moment and time.

Was there a time that I could have stopped myself from falling into this danger that just eats me alive and ends up with me being nothing in the end.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Categories
Poetry

I walk

in and I see you and it’s like being hit with a brick wall

these emotions of sadness wash over me like.

Someone close to me is gone and I can’t seem to figure out

what is going on and so I quickly disappear inside.

As I let myself fade into the background and this other side of me takes over

and I feel like I’m floating above myself, watching what is happening but I can’t stop anything.

The feeling doesn’t go away and I don’t seem to be able to slam back into myself again, will anyone notice I’m not me this bubble of light and giggles.

Even though the other side of me smiles it never reaching her eyes and, the laugh isn’t quite right for it’s not music to your ears.

The things about me that you look forward too doesn’t sound like they used to but you can’t quite put your finger on why I sound different.

But all I can do is hope you will realize in time and save me from this person who is like a shadow of who I am.

I am the light and without that light shining bright inside me or reaching out to you, things begin to not be the same and the once room full of joy is only half full.

Not enough to satisfy you or me or everyone else who cares and is tied to me and you, will time run out before we meet again.

For the darkness always needs a little light of hope in it, and that hope of light is me so what are you waiting for.

Come find me and bring me home again!

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Categories
Poetry

Where’s my support team at!

Where were you when I needed your support?
There isn’t a day that goes by that the sadness that is now occupying the space that used to be the joy you bring.
They say it’s hard to kick an addiction or to do something like depression on your own.
But, what do you do when the people who were your support team is gone.
Not a phone call or email returned.
How long are you to wait for them to care again?
Yea we all have lives to live but when is it okay to stop caring for one either.
When do we wonder if they are okay or when do we notice they are different from before.
Or that’s strange she doesn’t usually reach out to me so many times in one week.
When did becoming an adult meant we left people behind.
Yea it can be true that some friendships don’t make it pass seven years or some don’t need to communicate so often.
But, when one reaches out can’t you at least reach back even if it’s days or weeks later.
At least they will know you tried!

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes 

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Categories
Poetry

Rejection

The words always seem to sting

and make you feel like your best

wasn’t enough.

And so the doubt crawls in and makes

everything seem to slow down and you

don’t worry so much or care for nothing

is going to improve right now.

Maybe a break is needed for you were rejected for

a reason.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Categories
Poetry

Daily Prompt: Glass

Life is like glass, sometimes it gets

broken into little pieces.

And as you sweep up the mess to move on for better things.

You may miss some pieces and so the memories stay with you for lifetime.

As a reminder to not make the same mistake again.

But some pieces of glass stay stuck in a wound that never seems to go away.

And every time someone does something that triggers that wound.

You feel the pain too your toes and the memories are so strong, you can’t seem to be able to shake the off.

And so you tiptoe through life hope hoping not to cross any lines that may lead to glass breaking in your life.

For the pains of those cuts are too much for you to handle for a lifetime.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Daily Prompt: Glass

Categories
Poetry

Am I living

A lie 

when I smile on the outside 

but I want to cry in the inside.

Am I giving up when I don’t text you no more but then wait a minute did you even notice I stopped months go?

I know it’s not right to keep all bottled up inside.

But who should I tell if you’re not the one listening?

No one will understand the message meant for you but you!

But you’re not an option and so what do I do when I’m stuck and answers won’t come.

Do I hide or stand out in plain sight and let whoever see the pain leaking out for first time in their eyes.

Or do I pretend to be  some more to be someone I used to be or maybe never was. 

Maybe you will figure it out but maybe you won’t and it won’t matter because the who I used to be to you is gone.

So I hope it won’t be hard for you to forget me, for I’m already gone.

 

Written By:Deirdre Stokes

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Categories
Poetry

The overload

So much space between us that everything

seems so unreal as time goes on.

And I’m left empty-handed and the longer

this goes on the longer I fall apart.

But every time I see you I try to put on a brave face

and stand straight and put a smile on my face.

And hide the tears that are threatening to come out and

play out the truth that I’m not as strong as you think I am

in this situation.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Categories
#MayBook Prompt

Wicked

Your wickedly evil

You try to play me like a fool.

I didn’t see you coming

For I was blinded by your smile

But it really wasn’t a friendly smile.

More like a little smirk, because you

Lucked out and found a new victim to torture.

With your games you played with my mind

And I was trapped, until you slipped up and

Fell flat on your butt .

And  I saw through your lies, your wicked.

And I didn’t see you coming, but I survived

Your lies and defeated you once and for all.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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For the #May Book Prompts-Something wicked  this way comes