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Do you hear

me here as I sit here to wait for you to arrive, repeating each word out loud until I remember each word.

I know that if this speech doesn’t go right it won’t just embarrasses me but you too and I just don’t think I can let my failure be yours too.

I woke up this morning with all the confidence in the world that things were going to go well.

Now, as it pours down raining outside all the good luck I felt before just feels like it got washed away.

As panic set in I want so bad for this to work out because I just can’t continue on with knowing that there is more out there and I have so much to offer.

Just when I am so close to having a panic attack, I get a text from you saying just breathe I’m on my way sorry traffic was crazy.

Today will go down just the way you pictured it, a win that you deserve and will receive because you are what they are looking for and they would be fools to pass you by.

Just like that the switch of doubt is turned back off and I start to get my confidence back and when you arrive.

I already know that tonight will be a success because  I am me because of you and all the support you have given me during this time.

Tonight was one of the best wins I have gotten in a while but, I know soon the look on your face will be the greatest win I could have asked for.

To forever with you and to slowly climbing the ladder of success one day at a time.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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I wish

I had all the answers for you

then maybe life wouldn’t be such a disappointment for you.

To shield you from the things that just eat me up inside when you hurt, it hurts me the most.

For you to survive and truly live this life I feel like I have to journey through the things that tore you apart and pick up all the pieces you left behind and slowly but surely build you back up.

So one day you can just simply smile because you are alive and the world isn’t as bad as you thought it was.

You will hopefully live everyday with a moment of clarity and to just stop worrying about what others think.

For you have all you ever wanted right in front of your eyes and the things you want to happen will happen and you will wonder one day who made this all possible.

And maybe I will leave a letter and I hope you will be grateful and accept that even though there are moments now that you feel alone.

Just know that I am always in front of you repairing and building the future path for you and keeping you close for the love that I have for you is stronger than you will ever know my dear boy.

One day you will be the man I always knew you could be and there will be a few people around you that you will trust and in the end they will support you through the end.

Just don’t crawl back into the hole of the hopeless for the future for you is more defined than you know.

 

Sincerely,

Your Guardian angel

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The Truth

is I’m trying to be okay with the change that is coming but, I too have my limits and lately it’s like I’m at them and yet I still want to keep going and not give up.

But, I’m aching and the relieve that I am looking for its not happening fast enough for me.

So as time goes on I am pretending to be  happy and just completely not thinking about the things  that do make me happy  for I can’t run now, not when things are working out right now.

The present is laying out the path for the future but sometimes the desire to know too much before the time is meant to be does more harm than help.

The results when sweet are nice but when ugly it stings and seems to stay with you forever even though you know what you are capable of now.

Nothing can stand in your way as you make it on that stage and smile because you have come such a long way.

I’ve been running from the things that I have no answer too, just to end up showing the truth and living in that light that you have given us so that we can be equip with the things that we may need when that day comes my lord.

 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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I’m true

to you with my words and my emotions

being poured on this paper today.

Tomorrow will be a new day for me

and hopefully you will join me on this new adventure.

That may take us both away from the one’s we love just

see what the world has out there for us.

For were stuck here and I don’t want to sink into the quicksand

and be gone with nothing worthy to leave behind.

Together this could just be the moment that defines everything for us

but you just have to have faith and take my hand and trust me.

Jump with me and lets not look back to the things that have not been worth looking back on

in the first place.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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My last words

I don’t know what my last words will be

Or who will be around me for it’s not my time yet.

I hope, I would think I would have little to say or a lot

Depending on who I’ll  be talking to.

But as I lay there dying, I hope I’ll be surrounded by love ones

And nice things will be said and I will go in peace knowing I

Completed all I was meant to do and said all that needed to be said.

I’d probably be brutally honest  and let you all have it and probably

Won’t all be good words coming out my mouth but you’ll get over it

When I’m gone.

In the end I hope you’ve said all you had too to me and when it’s time

you feel as free as I will.

So lay me down when I am dying and talk my ear off and let me do the

same until I leave with smile on my face and knowing I’m going to a better place I hope.

But I also hope you will be okay and strong when I’m gone, and I want you to know it’s okay to carry on without me and more joy will come and I will always be in your heart.

 

sincerely,

Me laying here dying for all to see one day!

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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For the # May Book Prompts-As I Lay Dying