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I’m sorry

that I wasn’t worthy of your time 

and that even though I was always around I wasn’t counted as someone who was there for you during the tough times in your life.

I wonder now why I felt like I let you down when I was there fighting to keep you safe even when you didn’t think you deserved to be saved. 

You were apart of my growth as I found myself and in the end you just didn’t seem to care about all that we had done together to make it out of the darkness of our lives. 

I helped keep you up when you couldn’t walk and go through the light for you knew all that you had done was not hidden away but out front where everyone could see. 

I stood there handing your hand and comforting you so that there was not a moment that you felt alone and heart-broken. 

Your pain was my pain and now it’s like, I was invisible the whole time and every moment that I experienced was not true as you removed me from your life. 

You said I was  there but what I did was not enough and the one’s that were around only on your good days were the ones you choose over me and the day I walked away. 

I felt so bad for you for when you expected them to be there for you and the one’s that would try for a while will eventually leave too and when you realize  I’m gone.

I won’t come back even if you beg for my forgiveness, for I will forgive but I will move on for I feel like once you’ve burned me the possibility of you ever been trusted again is just out of the question.

For I will always  know what you did and that in the end tells me it’s time to just let you go for good. 

 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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This storm won’t break me!

Three Line Tales, Week 93

tltweek93

photo by Alex Iby via Unsplash

You’ll find full guidelines on the TLT page – here’s the tl;dr:

  • Write three lines inspired by the photo prompt (& give them a title if possible).
  • Link back to this post (& check the link shows up under the weekly post).
  • Tag your post with 3LineTales (so everyone can find you in the Reader).
  • Read and comment on other TLT participants’ lines.

 

It’s cold out here today but, I just needed a moment to myself and standing out in front of the ocean just always calms me. 

My life lately seems like the rough tides that are coming in and no matter how much I try to deal with everything and try to be the bigger person some how it always comes back to knock me down. 

I can’t let you drag me down and around like those rough waves would do if I try to go out there right now. I won’t be ignored and knocked down when I  decide to stand up for myself and live a calmer path. 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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This storm won’t break me!

 

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Daily Prompt: Dancing

You danced with so much grace on the stage last night that even though I was dragged to this talent show. 

I couldn’t get over how  amazing it was to see you move the way you did with so much ease and confidence, you didn’t let anything slow you down. 

The raw emotions I saw as you performed every move with so much ease and perfection, it showed how dedicated  you are to your dance and your smile glued me to my seat and I couldn’t look away if I tried. 

You smile gave me hope that one day I could be on the stage with you and all the people I knew were going to go somewhere and this was going to be the dream that they accomplished some how and some way. 

So times I felt so tore about how I could just take the risk of failure and just have a leap of faith that this too could work out for me. 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Daily Prompt: Dancing

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Daily Prompt: Faint

The voices of the people I thought would stay in my life

for a long time became faint as I walk away that day.

I didn’t remember what they said to me but my heart still feels a little empty

from the piece of me they took that night.

They didn’t even see me walk away or even cared if I had showed up

but the words they said just hit me so hard I felt pieces of my heart fall away and the pain was so much I almost fainted.

But, some how I got the strength to turn around and walk out that door and go to a place that ended up saving me from not recover from that pain.

There had always been someone there for me that didn’t like the other people I hung out with but respected that I like them but, always warned me that one day things would come clear to me.

And the first thing you did that night wasn’t tell me you told me so but, that you would do anything to take this pain away and that trying to get revenge wasn’t worth it for karma always comes back around.

My heart is fully healed now and you are still by my side not only protecting me but the family we built together and maybe one day our kids will have a friend who stands up for them like you did for me that day.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Daily Prompt: Faint

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How much

longer can I sit here pretending this isn’t hurting me.

Just so you can be seen as a picture of perfection.

You want everyone to see Your greatness but, in reality your hiding who you are.

Because, you’re a monster and you think what you’ve done to me is acceptable.

My scars aren’t physical but emotional and as I walk around like a wounded creature.

You look for opportunity to catch me off guard like it’s a game to you.

But, no more I say as the leaves of fall blow around and winter creeps in.

I won’t be around and By the time you realize I’m gone.

I’ll be too far away for you to get me back.

And finally I’ll be safe and not afraid to stand up for myself.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Moving on

seems like the only thing I can do as my life seems  to be dying here.

Like grass with no hope of rain to come, I’m drying up and turning to a shade of lifelessness.

And before I go I wanted to know wherever I go I will finally have found the peace that I needed so bad.

Somethings are best left alone and forgotten when it’s nothing but toxic washing through something that used be so healthy.

The fight is strong as I navigate down these roads away from the things that have burned me so badly.

I don’t think I’ll ever look back and wonder about the things that could have been because my time is up and I’ve moved on to something else.

I know that this path I am on is leading me away from the things that used to trap be and have me wanting things I don’t really need.

I am not there anymore and maybe one day you will understand the choses I had to make just to make it out of this place alive and healthy.

Sometimes the light that guided me was doom because of my own doubts but, after last night I’m so ready to move on.

The car is packed to its limit and I’m two seconds away from jumping in and once I hit that said that says come back and visit again.

I will be able to truly breathe and no I won’t be coming back to visit for this ride is not short-term but long-term and even if I come back it won’t be to stay.

For the place I call home was never here to begin with.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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Your eyes

are on me like you’ve never seen anyone like me

and I want to say something but the words just won’t slip out my mouth.

I feel like you’re being very rude right now and I want to say a few words to you

but instead I find myself writing a couple of paragraphs to you.

As if I’m writing a letter to one of my long-lost friends.

I say nothing as I past you and drop the letter in front of you and as you say

what is this.

I say read it and find out and if your still curious about me just call or text the number at the end of the letter.

I smile and wave goodbye as I walk out that door to either hear from you or to not care that our path may not cross again.

But, I know for sure that I won’t forget those eyes after that day of us staring longing at each other as if we were both trying to figure out a puzzle and wanted to be  the one to solve it the fastest.

 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

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