Is it me

 

 Who has to step up

And make the final decision.

Only a couple of months left in the year

And yet it feels like enough time to make a mark.

So many emotions going around that I don’t know

what to listen to my heart or my gut.

The days feel like they are flying by and the situation that I am in don’t seem that great but I fight on with hope to come and win it all.

No more uncertain moments or questions

It’s now or never and right now I’m so ready to leap into this new destination

With nothing but faith that it will all workout for me.

 

 

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes

Quote of the day

I can’t do

this anymore the feeling of just holding it all inside

is killing me slowly but, yet I don’t want it all out in the open

for anyone to hear.

I know that my words will not do anything and so I say quiet and complain to the ones that are close to me and let everything else in life just fade away and not worry about the tomorrow’s for there is no way of knowing how it will workout.

For I Just close my eyes and let it all fall around me and maybe some things will stick and others will just keep falling through the cracks.

I know that it is a time for change and it is a time to figure it all out for the answer isn’t going to come to me if I just sit here and worry or wander what could happen if I just dont step out and ask for help and then do it.

No worries about the things I seem to not be able to afford for when the time comes it will all work it’s self out.

If I don’t go all in now I will never just take that next step and I will never know if this situation could help all my other problems with one clean swipe.

I guess I never will know the answer if I just sit around with the finish product right next to me and just hope someone else will stumble into me and just happen to read some of it.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes

Knowing that

everything  has been leading up to this moment.

Feels tiring and exhausting.

I all I can think about is going to bed and not having to deal

but there is just one more day that I have to get through before.

I am free from the demands and the headaches and everything

that is continually falling on my shoulders everyday and week.

As if I am just so strong that nothing will or can break me but that is not

how I feel or how my body feels.

To be glad that tomorrow is Friday and I just have to get through the day to taste the freedom that is ahead of me feels so damn good.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes

Quote of the day

Light me up

like a candle on a night when the power goes out.

Turn me down like the volume on your phone as you listen to your favorite song.

Wine me up like a music box playing a tune you haven’t heard in such a long time.

Hug me like your favorite childhood toy or stuff animal and never let me go even when I’ve been around for too long.

Put me in album with all your old pictures of things that may not be around anymore for when you just need a reminder of what  you had or just need something to smile about again.

Remember me even when you don’t need me around anymore and even though I don’t know why, I will be okay with you decision in time.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes

Quote of the day

What am

I to say when your words have turned the warmth inside of me into ice.

It’s hard for me sometimes to see the light in the day when all I hear is the words of someone who doesn’t see the real problem in this situation.

So many complaints and suffering  going all around and yet no one sees the truth is right in front of them.

There is not just one reason the place is falling apart but there have become more cracks and those cracks are not getting smaller but are getting wider  and wider as the days go on.

I don’t hold on to anything these days and I can’t be mad at your words or care about the drama you want to bring for my head and my heart are already out the door.

I am physically in the building but mentally I have checked out and I am just moving to the beat of the robot I have become to get the job done.

But who I am and what I want to be is not here and the minutes and days are counting down until I too can be free physically from this place that tries so many times to steal what makes me, me and at the end of the day it’s I who has to answer to the call of being stressed out about whatever it is they want.

To be their puppet and robot is truly taking a toll on me and I hope just one day things will change for the better as soon as I find the break I need to escape and walk way from something that never really needed to be in my life this long.

 

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes

Oh wow look

 100 Word Wednesday: Week 135

Image by Cyranny

 at those stairs how crazy would it be to walk on them, like life sometimes things can get all twisted up.

And you just can’t seem to find your way out of the mess that you never really wanted in the first place.

But here you are struggling to make things right again but every move you make things get shuffled around and before you know it your dealing with another complicated situation with no solution insight.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Copyright ©️ 2019 By Deirdre Stokes

Oh wow look!