I wish I could conjure up the strength to just walk away and not worry about the future.
But, that’s just not how this world works and so all I can do is wish for things to be better because right now I have no control over some of these things that are happening right now.
I wish I could conjure up something to make this moment not suck so much but, no matter how hard I try things just don’t seem possible to workout.
My head pounds as it gets closer to the time to go do what I rather now do, I close my eyes and I pray that things get better and for a moment it feels good and my hope rises up again.
Until later on, the storm hits and I’m knocked on my ass and the situation stresses me out and I sit there saying a silent prayer that things won’t always be this way for I’m strong but sooner or later I will fall down weakened by the pain.
Will today be the day or will it be tomorrow, I guess I will not know until that day and moment comes and I finally just end up truly walking away because truly losing myself is not worth this pain.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes