I didn’t

mean to let you down and the look on your face

didn’t lift me up but dragged me down even more.

I knew those last words would not solve anything for me or for you and yet

I couldn’t walk away without saying them and even though they did me no good

and all they ended up doing was backing you angry and hurt at the same time .

I should be a shamed and I should really start to think before I open my mouth but, sometimes old habits are hard to break and it’s not like I have not tried.

I have and now I’m just tired of fighting the issues I have for some flaws just don’t go away with time.

I didn’t mean to hurt you and I didn’t mean to change your view on me that day but who I was is not who I am now.

And maybe I’m more harsh than you remember but, sometimes when life throws it all at you there is no going back to what you were before.

This body, this soul is not without scars and memories that are not all great and the struggle is there.

But, day after day I fight to get back to you to them to everyone who matters and to slowly let the rocks that hurt you all and keep you out.

I’ll find a way to get them all to crumble into dust but for now just trust me when I say I still care and that one day I will be back and I will give more than just my words to you and those that I love and care about.

Because, I owe you so much and when this is all said and done things will be as perfect as they can be and  the imperfect moments will be worth it.

I promise you.


Written By: Deirdre Stokes