You test me with your words as you
Try to catch me off guard.
As time goes on I forget that I need to stay alert when I comes to you.
When I least expect it you crawl out and snake around my legs and I fall
Again for your trick and I failed again for you won’t let me get to the end.
Maybe I won’t ever pass your test but maybe that’s the way you wanted it all along.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Said I would be able to amount to something great if I just stuck to the plan.
But, whose plan am I to follow when God takes me from a path of no hope and nothing but disappointment and lack of faith in him and myself.
Which left me empty and alone with no light to guide me out of this darkness because, I wanted to believe that we had the same dreams and goals so it would workout for me too.
But, God had other plans for me and only I understand for your still fighting me on how I live my life.
Yet, in the end I will be happy and satisfied and you will still be wonder why didn’t crash and burn.
The truth is you’re not suppose to know all the answer for my life and I know you care but its time to let go and let God take care of me.
For my story is already written and I’m ready to live it out no matter where it leads me because so far the downs have helped me grow.
The ups are telling and showing me to trust and the answer will come for the results are more than I could ever hope for.
My dreams have changed and I’m not the girl you knew three years ago, my story has changed and I’m so grateful for I’m living the life meant for me,and me only.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Her facade was beautiful but the truth of who she was
In the inside was nothing close to beautiful.
But she used her looks to get people to like her but her words
Would burn them up so fast.
They couldn’t prepare themselves for the pain that was so strong
It felt like they were burning alive and no matter if they screamed for help no one ever came.
And as she walked away from the ashes of who they used to be she would smile and start to sing a song, drawing in people to her like moth to flames
At first she seems like a beautiful rose you want to smell and carry with you everywhere you go.
But then her thorns come out and you are being pricked from all sides, no part of you is left without feeling pain.
You try to run away but you hit a wall that wasn’t there a minute ago, trapped like a helpless fly in a window screen.
You start to cry and wish you didn’t think the most beautiful things were the sweetest of all and you want to stop judging a person by looks.
And maybe if you survive her evil torture, you won’t make the same mistake again.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
I didn’t want to face the facts that I don’t agree on
Anything with you anymore.
The simple things that used to make me laugh every time you said it now just piss me off.
How did it come to this when it seemed like yesterday that we were getting along and smiling and laughing for real
Now it feels like you burned all the bridges to fix everything and brining us together is impossible.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Just who you are my shining star
You light up the sky when it’s so dark.
They say you’re not like the others for you
shine so bright that even in the daylight your light
stays on.
People are in awe of you and want to know why you’re so different and,
some call you a freak and want nothing to do with you.
They say what your able to do is impossible and that you shouldn’t be
allowed to be so great at everything.
You love to do backflips and jump and when it’s night-time you like take long walks for
you’re not afraid of the dark.
The night is your best friend and you feel at home when all the lights are out and you shine and shine and no one can take their eyes off of you for your best thing around.
No storm can make me scared when you’re around for the light in you will not go out and so the darkness will not ever be around.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Unfinished Business
Unfinished words not yet spoken.
As time goes by I don’t know if I will ever get the chance to say this to you
and I try daily to just tell you and to just finish this now.
But the words unsaid just feel so much better left inside my head
yet some days the words just want to pour out so I write them down.
And every day I add more and more to what I have to say to you, I have ten pages and yet
I still feel like I have much to say to you.
Will this weight ever just be off my shoulders and will it ever just make sense and will the day come that I put these pages together and send it off to you.
So that one day you will go get your mail and there my letter will be and you will read it all and then maybe I will get a call.
But, for now I guess there will be these unfinished words that need to be said in order for our present to move on and for the future to be able to change for the better.
And not just for me but for you too.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
I’m stuck on this rock and I have only two choices
And that is set into the nasty unknown water to get to
The other side.
Or hop on to one rock at a time and be fast enough that nothing
In the water gets me.
No choice sounds good for me and so I stand here wondering if I ever
Will get to the other side.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
To smile, to lie
Too pretend
it really isn’t worth it
when it only lasts a night, a moment.
Am I wasting my time
when I try to pretend so
I can fit in with you or I pretend
so you don’t see what’s really going on.
This isn’t a play that ends with the curtains closing and
only to come back open with everyone bowing and the audience applauding.
The end results won’t be something you cheer for, for pretending hasn’t led me
to success.
Just the feeling of failure and maybe there isn’t time to clean up the mess I’ve made, if
only I hadn’t pretended and just showed who I truly am from the beginning.
There wouldn’t be so much tears or pain, that I can’t seem to wash away the darkness that has swallow me up for pretending wasn’t supposed to be a game.
That ended with no happy ending for when the credits rolled and the screen went black and as the lights came on in the theater of my life.
Every seat was empty with no trace of anyone ever being around.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
Time flies by and you don’t want to worry
that nothing has gotten done.
Because you fell asleep and no matter how many times
you open your eyes, you still don’t want to get up and get started.
The day is mostly gone and you just sit there wondering what
you could have done better.
But what’s the point of panicking now when you could just go back to bed
and maybe tomorrow when you get up you can finish it then.
So morning comes and your alarm goes off and your out of bed so fast
you don’t even look to see what time it is, because you don’t have a second
to spare.
So you race around getting everything put together and an hour later your all done
and as you take a breath.
The panic feeling slowly goes away for you got it all done with hours to spare, for you set your alarm for five am and you didn’t have to get up until seven am.
The panic of leaving it to the last-minute wins out again and as you go back to bed with a smile on your face.
You sleep until it’s 9am and you leave on time for the surprise party you didn’t even know was planned all along just for you.
Written By: Deirdre Stokes
