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What am I fighting

For as I stand still here  

and look at you on this cold morning

and I wonder if only I had walked away.

Would I be such a mess with so many thoughts

flying through my mind at lighten speed.

Nothing is clean and I can’t grasp one thought

for my brain is starting to hurt as I fall down

and try to find comfort in this all.

Too much to handle and so lay here and stare

at nothing ,and I wish if only I had stopped when

the one and only thought popped into my mind

that night.

That changed everything and now here

I am pouring it all out and you stand there frozen

in time with nothing to say, and what good does that do

for me.

So I try to scream loud enough for you to wake up from this

state.

But instead all I do is break you apart into tiny little pieces as

you explode right in front of me and every piece of you I loved

comes flying at me.

And then it all becomes too much and I combust

Into tiny pieces and I am no more, like you.

But, it’s all just a dream and soon I will wake from this

nightmare of my truth, my fears.

 

Written By: Deirdre Stokes

(Inspired while listening to: If only sung by Dove Cameron on the descendants soundtrack)

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6 thoughts on “What am I fighting

  1. wow. this part: And then it all becomes too much and I combust

    Into tiny pieces and I am no more, like you.” – i reread like 10 times because it just felt so right and beautiful and true. amazing piece. ❤

    Like

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