This is a beginning to a story I wrote awhile ago and I’m just trying to fix it up alittle and would love some feedback.
She is very kindhearted girl who is shy and does not have many friends.
She has Gray eyes and long brown hair with light brown highlights, her eyes are small and her black eyelashes are long and healthy. Her nose is small and cute like a button and her mouth is pumped and thick. She loves wearing pink and red lipstick or color lip-gloss. She enjoys wearing pink and red t-shirts, sweatshirts and bows and she is not ever caught walking anywhere without a nice pair of sneakers or flats and heels when appropriate to wear. She is always seen wearing one of the heart necklaces her grandma and grandpa gave her when she at birth.
It is the first day of the second semester of the year and I cannot want to learn something about chemistry. On my way to class I bump into my friend holly and we end up going into class together. We soon separate once we see there are assigned seating by last name. I head over to my seat and realize I am seating next to Patrick a boy who is in the same grade as me but we have not officially met.
Bo: Hi, I’m Bo
Patrick: Hi nice to meet you Bo I’m Patrick
Before we could say more our teacher Ms. Snow walks in with a stack of white paper in her arms and a black leather bag over her shoulders. She is wearing a black dress shirt with tan pants and her hair is in a messy ponytail. She smiles at us all as she puts her papers down and walks back to the front of the room to introduce herself and what is expected from us this semester as we learn all about the elements and how they work.
Ms. Snow quickly announces that the person sitting next to you will be your partner throughout the class. We will have to work with them on all assignments throughout the class time and can help each other on homework problems when we finish our work early. She also said if we are ever sick or have to leave class early the person next to us will be in charge of giving us the information we will need to make up the work or notes to study for the many test and quizzes we will have.
So right now would be a great time to exchange emails and phone numbers. Bo quickly writes down her information and when done. She gives it to Patrick who in return fills out his information and gives it too her as well. They each put it in their phones quickly before they forget, class goes on for the next hour and half, side by side Bo and Patrick take notes and focus on the voice of their teacher not thinking about how this semester will bring them together as friends.
I just wanted to get another good grade in my classes, not make new friends in Chemistry class. I have always desired to have more friends for I felt like it was what everyone wanted, to be cool and connected. Today is Wednesday and for the first time in a long time, I’m wearing a dress a nice red dress. That is hugging my curves nicely with my long curly hair resting on my shoulders. I paired it with one of my favorite heart necklace that has a red ruby in it.
I’m feeling a little nervous about wearing this dress today for I don’t want to be judge for my outfit but I wanted to feel nice today and not dressed up in my usual sweatshirt and pants.
As usual Patrick is wearing a polo t-shirt with blue denim jeans and black sneakers. Patrick is nice, and funny we spend most of the class laughing at his jokes when the teacher is going over boring elements chart. We try to keep our laughter down as she looks around in her blue sweater, with her serious brown eyes trying to figure out if she heard something from us immature and unfocused teenagers.
I wonder if Patrick is as happy as I am to be friends, it sure makes Chemistry class fun and something to look forward to each day and week.
Written by: Deirdre Stokes